i’ve always feared
looking straight into your eyes.
it makes me stand at the edge,
my nerves will betray any lies.

all my life i’ve built my walls
around me to keep dangers at bay.
then you came bounding down the halls,
looked straight, unaware much that day…

looked straight ignoring the shields
and looked determined to stay.

and my defenses crashed,
the impenetrable shell cracked,
the steely resolve came undone,
the protection, the security, all gone.

i feel naked under your stare,
no pockets to hide, nary a spare;
no cover against the biting cold
nothing else but do as i’m told.

i pray you do not use this against me
for you hold sway my heart
in the palm of you hand.
just one look through me
wrapped around your finger i’ll be.

i’ve always been wary
of letting myself be under your scrutiny.
but you’ve cast a spell upon me,
enmeshed in that spell i remain…

…wholeheartedly.

she opens her eyes with much ado.
she hates the coming of another morning,
the sun is up, another day starts anew,
time again to join the world of the living.

she stands there by the curb,
random people pass her by.
completely apathetically disconnected
and yet she never even bothered why.

she tries to lend her ears to the sound
that resonates not for her to hear.
tries so hard but fails to connect
she and this world just won’t intersect.

she opens her eyes to see
the images turning gray and blurry.
she allows herself a pinprick to feel,
still everything doesn’t feel real.

come night, as soon as her eyes close,
her mind travels instantly
into another world, another universe,
a world her soul craves for hungrily.

psychedelic colors around her twirl
mountains, skyscrapers combine in a swirl.
there, everything is for her to feel,
in her world, everything is just so real.

but mornings come, they always do;
and again she stirs, opens her eyes,
another day to go through
the motions that she so despises.

once again standing there watching by,
entirely disconnected yet uncannily calm.
she never really needed to wonder why,
she lives, dwells in another realm.

entirely disconnected, seeing things from afar,
she stares placidly til the day is done.
night time comes, a welcome refuge,
and then she’s gone…instantly she’s gone.

talk to me about the craziness of kismet
talk to me about the inner workings of fate
talk about what really brought us here
talk about both our minds’ current state.

tell me about bad luck and karma,
tell me about getting back at someone.
tell me it’s a vicious cycle and it’s useless,
tell me it’ll just put me back to square one.

speak to me of destiny, of what’s in store
speak of things to look forward to in the future.
speak to me of the reason behind all of this,
i won’t question you on how you can be so sure.

speak to me about angst, about anger,
speak to me of suffering and never-ending pain
speak to me about how hard it truly is
to just live on and on and still getting no gain.

talk to me about dreaming for more
talk about going for the top, gunning for gold.
tell me when to stop, tell me to listen,
tell me when to quit and do as i’m told.

speak to me of joy and of sadness,
nothing short of depression and of gladness.
speak to me, no more, no less,
of the thin line between sanity and madness.

talk about the silly connivance of things,
talk about weird and uncanny circumstances.
talk about the most foolish things, and scold me,
i seem to be doing those in recurring instances.

talk to me, tell me about something;
speak to me of nothing and of everything.
i resign myself from now on to listening,
just talk to me, speak to me, i’m begging.

written on account of my realization that i may be driving away the people around me with my nonstop blabbering about everything that comes to my mind. you see i don’t normally open up, but when i find someone i am entirely comfortable with, someone i can tell those itsy-bitsy pieces of nutty thoughts i sometimes have, i just can’t stop. i’m really sorry if i do interrupt you when you’re talking about something. it’s not intentional and i mean well. and well, that’s just how i am.