I want galaxies imprinted on my skin
spread all over my body until
they’re stretched too thin,
I want to feel countless constellations
of stars, planets, comets, meteors, dust
all pressing in,
like how you cover all of me so completely:
your hair in my face, my face in your crown,
our limbs impossibly intertwined;
your skin pressing in
until even our minds all but meld,
our souls are stitched into one.
“I want you to tell me about every person you’ve ever been in love with.
Tell me why you loved them,
then tell me why they loved you.
Tell me about a day in your life you didn’t think you’d live through.
Tell me what the word home means to you
and tell me in a way that I’ll know your mother’s name
just by the way you describe your bedroom
when you were eight.
See, I want to know the first time you felt the weight of hate,
and if that day still trembles beneath your bones.
Do you prefer to play in puddles of rain
or bounce in the bellies of snow?
And if you were to build a snowman,
would you rip two branches from a tree to build your snowman arms
or would leave your snowman armless
for the sake of being harmless to the tree?
And if you would,
would you notice how that tree weeps for you
because your snowman has no arms to hug you
every time you kiss him on the cheek?
Do you kiss your friends on the cheek?
Do you sleep beside them when they’re sad
even if it makes your lover mad?
Do you think that anger is a sincere emotion
or just the timid motion of a fragile heart trying to beat away its pain?
See, I wanna know what you think of your first name,
and if you often lie awake at night and imagine your mother’s joy
when she spoke it for the very first time.
I want you to tell me all the ways you’ve been unkind.
Tell me all the ways you’ve been cruel.
Tell me, knowing I often picture Gandhi at ten years old
beating up little boys at school.
If you were walking by a chemical plant
where smokestacks were filling the sky with dark black clouds
would you holler “Poison! Poison! Poison!” really loud
or would you whisper
“That cloud looks like a fish,
and that cloud looks like a fairy!”
Do you believe that Mary was really a virgin?
Do you believe that Moses really parted the sea?
And if you don’t believe in miracles, tell me —
how would you explain the miracle of my life to me?
See, I wanna know if you believe in any god
or if you believe in many gods
or better yet
what gods believe in you.
And for all the times that you’ve knelt before the temple of yourself,
have the prayers you asked come true?
And if they didn’t, did you feel denied?
And if you felt denied,
denied by who?
I wanna know what you see when you look in the mirror
on a day you’re feeling good.
I wanna know what you see when you look in the mirror
on a day you’re feeling bad.
I wanna know the first person who taught you your beauty
could ever be reflected on a lousy piece of glass.
If you ever reach enlightenment
will you remember how to laugh?
Have you ever been a song?
Would you think less of me
if I told you I’ve lived my entire life a little off-key?
And I’m not nearly as smart as my poetry
I just plagiarize the thoughts of the people around me
who have learned the wisdom of silence.
Do you believe that concrete perpetuates violence?
And if you do —
I want you to tell me of a meadow
where my skateboard will soar.
See, I wanna know more than what you do for a living.
I wanna know how much of your life you spend just giving,
and if you love yourself enough to also receive sometimes.
I wanna know if you bleed sometimes
from other people’s wounds,
and if you dream sometimes
that this life is just a balloon —
that if you wanted to, you could pop,
but you never would
‘cause you’d never want it to stop.
If a tree fell in the forest
and you were the only one there to hear —
if its fall to the ground didn’t make a sound,
would you panic in fear that you didn’t exist,
or would you bask in the bliss of your nothingness?
And lastly, let me ask you this:
If you and I went for a walk
and the entire walk, we didn’t talk —
do you think eventually, we’d… kiss?
That’s asking too much —
this is only our first date.”
- Andrea Gibson
“That’s my window. This minute
So gently did I alight
From sleep–was still floating in it.
Where has my life its limit
And where begins the night?
I could fancy all things around me
Were nothing but I as yet;
Like a crystal’s depth, profoundly
Mute, translucent, unlit.
I have space to spare inside me
For the stars, too: so full of room
Feels my heart; so lightly
Would it let go of him, whom
For all I know I have started
To love, it may be to hold.
Strange, as if never charted,
Stares my fortune untold.
Why is it I am bedded
Beneath this infinitude,
Fragrant like a meadow,
Hither and thither moved,
Calling out, yet fearing
Someone might hear the cry,
Destined to disappearing
Within another I.”
- Rainer Maria Rilke
It’s about time to fill this space again with anything after I’ve almost abandoned it. I blame work and life in general for that. And since I still find it hard to blabber these days because — again because of work and life in general — I am just going to post pretty words from other authors / poets until I find my groove.
The UConn Huskies won their 8th National Championship and sends seniors Kelly Farris, Caroline Doty, and Heather Buck on a high note. Fab Frosh Breanna Stewart sparked the Huskies run and won over Notre Dame in the semis despite the Irish beating them for three games this year. The Huskies won over Louisville 96 – 30, with Stewie scoring 23 points.
That time was like never, and like always.
So we go there, where nothing is waiting;
we find everything waiting there.
- Sonnet IV, Cien Sonnetos de Amor, Neruda
Boy am I out of it this year (even more so than last year when March Madness meant the Great Tohoku Quake and Tsunami more than the annual college basketball craziness). Haven’t got any idea what’s going on in the baller world, be that the international scene (UMMC Ekaterinburg for Birdy and Ros Casares — or whatever — for LJ) or the Women’s NCAA (but enough to know that UConn’s not that invincible this year).
But anyway, better late than never, right? At least I checked in right before the Elite Eight. So without further ado — WAIT, the Zags are done for the season. Bummer. Read somewhere in Twitter that they might be missing Vandersloot more than they realized. Well, okay then, get it over and done with, move on with the show.
Des Moines Region – Baylor vs Tennessee
Obvious pick is obvious, duh, Griner — BAYLOR
Raleigh Region – Notre Dame vs Maryland
Haven’t seen how Maryland plays but I’m just gonna go with the fact that ND was in the championship game last year and Skylar Diggins is still playing for the Irish. Pick — NOTRE DAME
Fresno Region – Stanford vs Duke
Ogwumike Sisters. ‘Nuff said. — STANFORD
Kingston Region – Connecticut vs Kentucky
Samarie Walker vs her former team. Whatever. KML, Bria Hartley, Kelly Frakking Farris, Tiff Hayes, Dolton, and DOTY! As if I’ll pick anyone over UConn. — CONNECTICUT
The North Remembers — Wyman Manderly, Lord of White Harbor
Whoa, it’s been ages since I’ve updated this. Goes to show that I absolutely have nothing to say or ramble about eversince I (finally) got out of Japan (omedetou, self). I’ve just been thoroughly immersed into street photography though, going as far as to meeting one of the famous ones (oh my goodness, I met a Magnum photographer, it was so totally awesome, almost as awesome as talking to Sara Bareilles after her concert a few months ago in Shibuya). But anyway, I still have a lot to learn and a long, long way to go so … I dunno, I’ll just turn this blog into some sort of behind the scenes thing for when I do some shoots or whatever.
By the way, oh, I also managed to catch Wicked here in Singapore — oh, if I somehow forgot to mention, yeah, I’m now currently in Singapore. Anyway, back to Wicked, so … yeah, I finally got what the fuss is all about. I mean, sure I’ve fangirled about it for ages and caught some vids over youtube and listened a gazillion times to the score but the actual show is a totally different thing.
Okay, enough word vomit.
Age++ in a few hours.
NO ME GUSTA.
At dahil nalalapit na ang aking paglisan (dalawang linggo na lang anubah), susubukan kong alalahanin ang pinaka-interesting na nangyari sa kin sa around four and a half years ko todits sa land of the rising sun and eternal office hours.
1. Mag-slide paibaba ng bundok dahil nilipad ng hangin ang isa kong glove. Saklap.
2. Muntik na mawala sa bundok sa Zao dahil super foggy at di makita ang harapan.
3. Ma-sprain ang dalawang paa. Nang sabay.
4. Ma-crack ang pinkie toe habang naglalakad with the bike (at marami ang version netong kwento na to).
5. Ma-attach sa isang upuan. I miss you Cher the chair. Sana buhay ka pa pero feeling ko hindi na.
6. Mag-hibernate nang isang buong linggo (golden week) without going out. Hibernate nga eh, shempre no going out. May pagka-redundant din pala ko no?
7. Mag-bakasyon (!) nang 2 months sa isang hospital.
8. Naadik mag-online-shopping. I will defo miss you Amazon and Rakuten.
9. Photography. ‘Nuff said.
10. Magcollect ng napakaraming scarf (scarves?). Ano kaya gagawin ko sa mga yun no?
11. Matutong magluto (level up from boiling water and *cooking* pancit canton). Pwede na ko ngayon mag-nilagang-B (bubuyog? bisekleta? bentilador?). Kaya ko na ata mag-grill ng steak at maggawa ng sinigang. Pero siyempre pinakamagaling akong magpipindot ng keys sa microwave at mag-type-type sa keyboard para umorder na lang.
12. Sara Bareilles concert. Yeh! Best concert ever! At asa video pa kami ni Benny hahaha. It was an awesome show. Kahiyuuuuh.
13. KT Tunstall concert. Yeh! Napagod paa ko sa kakatayo pero prime position kami ni Benny as in sa harapan. PS parang kamukha niya si Jolens. Hmnnn.
14. Maroon 5 and Aerosmith concerts. Yeh! Ang lalayo nila (Nippon Budokan and Tokyo Dome ang mga venues, respectively) so ang hirap makita ng pilantik ni Adam Levine and bibig ni Steven Tyler. Nevertheless, enjoy to the max ever.
15. Sakura Tulip Festival chuchubelles. Very special mention ang Meemax ahaha. Memorable talaga yun. Pero I don’t want to make lublob myself in the putikan and damage my camera haha. Traumatizing siya.
16. Sprint to shuuden galore. Kelangan abutan ang last train sa gabi. Buti na lang hindi ito parati.
17. Sprint in the morning para habulin ang tren na naman. OA na yang train na yan ah. Parating hinahabol. Five seconds lang naman ako nalelate di pa ko hintayin. Imbey.
18. Snow. Masaya pero nakakairita. Bakit ba kasi ang lamig-lamig niya?
19. AUTUMN — ang walang kamatayang autumn. I love autumn.
20. Kafunsho. Siya na, siya na talaga. Hanggang ngayon di pa din ata ako naka-recover sa damage na ginawa niya sa sinus ko.
21. Kyoto + Osaka + Kobe. Saya neto. Ang saya talaga.
22. … (Teka saka na yung iba, wala na ko maalala ngayon pero baka mamaya meron pa).