the path looked rather ominous
yet my feet dragged me to it.
i walked straight though aimlessly
beckoned by the strangeness,
fueled by my melancholy.

i remember it as if it was yesterday
my heart leapt out against my wishes
my head floated through the clouds
my resolve unwillingly unraveled
when i first felt this way.

my defenses completely gave way
one by one systematically disintegrated.
reason couldn’t find what the cause
until upon me was a flush beet red
you must’ve caused the blood to rush to my head.

though it was the biggest singular fear
what has been sworn not to do nor feel,
the heart ignored the conniving mind
and the heart claimed to be sovereign…

the once cold, unfeeling heart
bursting with emotions long ago unimaginable
claiming to know all the answers
erasing even the most formidable fears.

hence i let my feet drag me to it
facing the unknown with my head up high,
my eyes looking straight ahead
to what seemed like an ominous path.

cracking through the thick shells
protective defenses notwithstanding
letting the warmth of uncertainty washing through
finally letting myself feel alive
finally letting myself feel real.